Friday, October 24, 2008

People Eating Tasty Animals

I found this article I wrote in 2003 (published in a Kansas weekly) and thought I would reprint it here because it was so dang funny!

“A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. There is no rational basis for saying that a human being has special rights." Thus speaks PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk. She has also stated that she doesn’t “believe that people have the right to life, that's a supremacist perversion.” The term “speciesism,” coined by Peter Singer, the founder of the radical animal rights leftist movement, describes the belief that human beings (human animals) are superior to “non-human animals,” and if PETA has its way, “speciesism” will soon become a “protected class” under the constitution.

PETA is fighting to bring to an end hunting, fishing, pet ownership, use of animal byproducts, and the consumption of anything derived from or a part of any animal. This incorporates not only the customary and familiar milk, eggs, beef, pork, chicken, and the like, but also vaccines preventing polio (the vaccine was developed through testing on monkeys) and smallpox. Diabetics would not have insulin, there would be no antibiotics for pneumonia, no chemotherapy for cancer, no surgery for heart diseases, no organ transplants and no joint replacement. Every major medical advance in the past hundred years, from the polio vaccine to the pacemaker, has required tests on animals. Experiments with animals will be the difference between life and death, between health and illness or disability, for unknown multitudes of AIDS and cancer patients in the future. PETA doesn’t care. “Even if animal tests produced a cure for AIDS, says Newkirk, ''we'd be against it.''

I thought I could address PETA without addressing the politics of its supporters, but I find I cannot. Ironically, the people who advocate “animal rights” and “animal equality” are the same people who align themselves with environmental issues, and what they refer to as “social justice,” yet PETA places mankind’s use and consumption of animals on a par with Hitler’s Holocaust against the Jews. ''Six million Jews died in concentration camps,'' Newkirk has declared, ''but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses.” This is twisted and despicable, not to mention indefensible, for many reasons, but most notably because these radicals seem to value the life of a “non-human animal” more highly than they value the lives of 6,000,000 Jewish victims of Hitler’s Holocaust. Forgive me, but even Hank the Cowdog isn’t more valuable than a single human life.

If you go to websites like, you can get your free vegetarian starter kit. You can also see what good old Alec Baldwin is doing these days—not living in France, as he promised us when President Bush was elected, but instead supporting PETA’s “The Holocaust on your Plate” traveling exhibit and narrating PETA’s “Meet your Meat” video. As Alec says, “'Meet Your Meat’ is a heart-wrenching and shocking indictment of the treatment of animals by the farmed-animal industry.” PETA asserts that “pigs, cows, and chickens are individuals with feelings—they can feel love, happiness, loneliness, and fear, just as dogs, cats, and people do.” In the video, which begins dramatically with Baldwin stating emotionally, “What you are about to see is beyond your worst nightmares,” Baldwin asserts that antibiotics promote unnatural growth. He is concerned that livestock is “transported on trucks through all kinds of weather extremes, without food or water, to the slaughterhouse” and yet this man had so little regard for the 300,000 to 500,000 Iraqi civilians murdered by Saddam Hussein that he thought the United States should have allowed Hussein to continue his treatment of the Iraqi people. He is concerned about cattle being branded without painkillers, and yet he is on the record speaking out against the war to liberate Iraq from a brutal, sociopathic dictator who ordered his own people shredded alive.

Pamela Anderson, former Baywatch bimbo and naked PETA spokesperson, stated in July of 2002 that she would undergo treatment for Hepatitis C with, among other things, a drug called Interferon, which was tested on rodents and primates (rats and monkeys, not unlike PETA members). Paul McCartney, another rabid PETA supporter, accompanied his wife Linda McCartney during her treatment for breast cancer, which uses, of course, technology and medical advances gained from – you guessed it—animal testing.

Other celebrities endorsing PETA have similar credibility issues. Mike Farrell, of MASH fame, the über-liberal, spent an evening 18 years ago in San Salvador assisting a real doctor in an operation on the arm of a guerilla leader of the Marxist Central American Worker’s Party, the group which, two months prior to the surgery, claimed responsibility for the slaying of four U.S. Marines, two American businessmen and nine civilians. Other celebrities include Alicia Silverstone (Maybe I’m clueless, but I seem to recall patent leather shoes), Oliver Stone (who said, and I quote, “"We should look to (Castro) as one of the Earth's wisest people, one of the people we should consult"), Rob Reiner (wait, didn’t they call him “MEAThead?”), RICHARD GERE (did he think the gerbil volunteered??), Woody Harrelson (pot smoker, enviro-nazi, and peacenik member of a violent protest group called the Ruckus Society, who also starred in Oliver Stone’s 1994 movie “Natural Born Killers,” a movie so violent some theaters refused to show it), Ricki Lake (She’s vegetarian? She looks like the talk show host who ate Manhattan), Brad Pitt, who donated money to Bill Clinton’s Library fund, Al Gore’s re-election campaign, proposed a trip to Israel with his wife to bring peace to Israel and Palestine ("The past few years of conflict mean that yet another generation of Israelis and Palestinians will grow up in hatred. We cannot allow that to happen."), and a man of such high moral character that when a teenaged Jenna Bush, the President’s daughter, had a summer internship at Brillstein-Grey, the management firm representing Pitt and his then-wife Jennifer Aniston (she with the high school education who said "Bush is a f**king idiot”), would pass her in the hall and say, “Heyyyy, Jenna, wanna beer? I got one in the truck!,” Mary Tyler Moore (a diabetic whose very survival is dependent upon insulin, discovered through animal research), and Woody Allen (whose adopted daughter is now his wife and the mother of his children) . . . oddly, many celebrities supporting PETA have also embraced colonic irrigation.

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